this album is dedicated to ryan collins

Lyrics:

'Take it'

You fill me up, with exactly what you need
don't take too much, or you might just be perceived
for what you are, suckng on the fat of my little heart,
and im bleeding

'cause with every bit of life I lose, you take something else you can use
I bit the leech, but now the poisons setting in, my teeth are rotten
I love the world but maybe I wasn't meant to be happy
I can't believe that this is happenning to me

what lives inside? did i put it there?
I can't recall, maybe someone else is there
inside of my mind, pulling on the strings
taking the meat I was eating

'cause i've become a doll for parts, i lost my spine, they won it all
with sweet smiles across their faces, taking taking taking take it
I love the world, but maybe I wasn't meant to be happy,
I can believe that this is happening to me, to me, just take it, take it

take it, take it, take it ....



'Grace'

Met her the summer that I turned 16
Worked in the alley off of main street
She told me that week she was leaving Pennsylvania
All these years later I can't recall what her name was

She told me she was moving in with her girlfriend
She was an actress in the city that's how they met
I won't forget the color of her eyes
The way she smiled when she said goodbye

Its been 7 years now since she was near me
But that week still haunts my memory
I hope shes happy now she should be 25
She taught me something that I thought I'd always hide

Come back, come back, I'll see you in my dreams
Come back, come back



'Twenty'

Times moving too fast
I wish I could catch it like a firefly and keep it in a glass
Hang onto it for awhile
And then let it go like a little child

Well everyday’s the same,
But everyday it changes
Like a river it can’t be saved
It can’t be changes, it just flows on to the grave

But when you’re 20 you can’t be a kid anymore
Think you’re a grown up but you still sleep on the floor
And you wish you could go back, but that’s not how time works
Then you’re just floating between two closed doors

Well every breath I take, Every time my heart breaks
Im stepping on the brakes, Im trying to grab the wheel,
but’ve forgotten how to steer
And there’s no stopping this thing

But when you’re 20 you can’t be a kid anymore
Think you’re a grown up but you still sleep on the floor
And you wish you could go back, but that’s not how time works
Then you’re just floating between two closed doors



'Over and over again (searching for you in the space)'

You came to me like a morning dove, and you were gone like a bird in winter
You still send me pictures of the things that you love, but that doesn’t make me the winner

The rain in the spring makes me think of your name
And all of the ways I’ve known you
A year ago today, we had lost our way, and I don’t think we’ll ever find it

Over and over again, I’m searching for you in the space
Over and over again, I’m searching for you in the space
But you’re falling around me like rain
And I’m drenched in the pain of remembering, as you’re slowly drifting away

Thinking of the ways that you made me a woman, because when we met I still was a girl
You changed the shape of my heart and the smell of my hair, gave shape to the ground that I walked on
If I went to your heart, I know I’d find myself there, if I could only reach it
You came to me in a dream and told me to hold on, but when I woke up my hands were empty

Over and over again, I’m searching for you in the space
Over and over again, I’m searching for you in the space
But you’re falling around me like rain
And I’m drenched in the pain of remembering, as you’re slowly drifting away



'Angel'

I entertain myself with the words on the page
The lines that you’d written, fill in my days

That Iroquois saint, virgin angel in the skies
Lifted the veil from your vision, the torment from your eyes

What forms my blood? I can not be sure
It twists and it tangles, through my flesh and my birth

As my memory blurs, what once was our life
With blasphemous fantasy, and my own personal strife

I heard you say, so clearly

Be with me religious medals of all kinds
Those suspended on silver chains and the ones that live behind my mothers eyes
To unravel the darkness that lives in my mind
To unravel the darkness that holds in the light
To unravel the darkness that holds us in line
To unravel the darkness and allow the sun to shine

The history of them all, none of us will ever know
What went down on the sidelines, right before the show

When I’m in my mind, how do I know what’s in yours
Or if there’s a god above, I like to think I know

All of the blood is filling up my brain
And I’m trying to sit right-side up again, but it don’t look the same

Where is that angel, that visited you that night
And if I hold on tighter, will she shine a light

And I heard you say, so clearly

Be with me religious medals of all kinds
Those suspended on silver chains and the ones that live behind my mothers eyes
To unravel the darkness that lives in my mind
To unravel the darkness that holds in the light
To unravel the darkness that holds us in line
To unravel the darkness and allow the sun to shine



'Dirge'

I don't know if I believe in god
I don't know if I know how to go on
All I know is the more I learn, I think we are damned

All the kids are standing in their lines
I don't know if we won this time
All I know is things that got so dark, I can't remember my name

How will we try to explain
All the things we never tried to change
What about all the people who died, who was the first to lie?



'Cavity'

Been a lot better lately without you around Sitting at home and drinking I think more clearly then when you were around
Been down this road before , but still don’t know what to do
Don’t forget you’re the one that left my key in my back door

Filling up my past like a cavity, but I can’t quit the habit I’m addicted to it cause it’s so sweet Im in love with you baby but I don’t want you around
I’ll eat your shit till it rots but I won’t be the one to wear your silver crown

Hate this song like a tooth ache , shot the dark like a mistake
Burn it down to the ground for you, cry my eyes out for you too
Hate the weather when it’s clear out, even more when it rains
Maybe I just can’t stop spreading around all my pain

Been a lot better lately without you around, sitting at home and drinking I think more clearly than when you were around

Wash my hands clean up my mess I made my own mistakes,
I don’t need to sit around waiting for you to say “ok”
Tired of being your rag doll dragged around across the floor
No need to say sorry, I don’t need you anymore



'Domino'

Stepping across so easily
Lost in a state of entropy
You were singing a lullaby so sweet
Holding the abyss so tenderly

Following your steps through the lot
Wondering if you had forgotten or not
Perched upon the mountain top
Things set in motion that we could never

Oh the dominoes, as they go, oh the dominoes

There was nothing to say or do
But alas, we love you
the sweetest song in the world
No story be told, the event had unfolded

But to know the dominoes as they go, oh the dominoes as they go, oh the dominoes as they go, oh the dominoes



'Waste'

you walk alone
past the house that, that you were a child in, that you were a child in
i know you see the ghost of someone, of someone you might of been, of someone you might of been
and all of the dogs, have gone inside
and there's no one there to hurt you and there's nowhere left to cry
I am the one you thought that you were, but it's always just a dream, no it's always just a dream

and there's no water, only rock
there's no water only rock, there's no water only rock
who is the third who always walks beside you?
no he's always just behind you, no she's always just beside you
he is just a ghost, she is just a ghost
you were always on your own, and you were always on your own
you were always on your own, and you were always on your own
you're just always on your own

who cut your hair out on the lawn?
where it was left to decay, where it was left to decay
and all of the blood you left to dry, did you know it's just like paint and did you know it always stains
and all of the things you can't erase, they're always they left a stain, they're always there with all the pain
and all of the waste is just, is just, is just left to sit and rot, it is just left to sit and rot

and there's no water, only rock
there's no water only rock, there's no water only rock
who is the third who always walks beside you?
no he's always just behind you, no she's always just beside you
he is just a ghost, she is just a ghost
you were always on your own, and you were always on your own
you were always on your own, and you were alwyas on your own
you're just always on your own



'The end of the beginning'

Being two, being one
Being in love shouldn’t be staring at the sun
Burning out your eyes to dust

Running away from yourself
Maybe we were just running into everybody else
No longing of the heart to the other

I wonder what it would be like to love you forever
I imagine it’s like growing out of your favorite sweater
The sleeves fit quite too tight and it’s itchy

Skip a rock in a shallow puddle
I hope it don’t get your shoes wet when it clunks to the bottom
You can always try again somewhere else

Well I’m not saying its not sad to say goodbye
I’m just saying I don’t think I can cry anymore
The world will keep on spinning, everyday a new beginning

Cause people fall out of love everyday
We aren’t so special even though you’d like to say
Life will keep on going on without you
You aren’t the king of my world, I’m sorry to disappoint you

Things will all be good with time
You’ll forget you ever loved me
You’ll forget all the times
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye